CONTENT 40/70
I was really torn when it came to reading this diary, because you have so many stories that would make for great content; but you didn't bring them to life. When I first found out that your diary was mainly about your studies abroad in England, I was ecstatic. I mean, anyone who travels across the pond for an extended stay is just bound to have heaps of interesting stories, right? Unfortunately, you failed to grab my attention and sustain my interest. Most of the entries read as if this were Frommer's Travel Guide to Harlaxton College--which is fine, if that's what you're going for. But if you're hoping to use this diary as a segueway to becoming the next Jerry Seinfeld, you've got another thing coming.
To be honest, I don't expect every diary to keep me laughing out loud on the floor. That's nearly impossible, and hardly fair to the author. Many people choose to write wonderfully serious and even-toned diaries that reflect their lives and opinions, and not everyone is Hollywood material. However, I do believe that even the most mundane aspects of life can be made into something reflective, introspective, and maybe even amusing. If you're going to write about your adventures in Britain, don't use a textbook approach. You've got to give your readers a unique and different perspective on your travels; otherwise, any regular Joe with a library card could get the same kind of information from a book. To put it another way: Would you rather read a kidnapping report filed by Nancy Drew, or Captain Clarke of the 15th DC Precinct? (Hint: Nancy Drew would be the correct answer.)
I also felt a bit tossled when reading your entries, because there isn't a clear definition of time. Here you talk about your money woes and watching "The Nake Chef" before launching into a description of the cities of Cambridge and Oxford, which you visited five years ago. In another entry, I found that you were fond of "The West Wing" (Me, too), but that was totally derailed by another description of life at Harlaxton. Pick a time frame and stick with it. It might be better for you to just write two separate diaries; one for your study abroad memoirs, and another for your personal use.
Spelling and grammar were great, no qualms here. I just worry that you may be too focused on coming across as a competent writer (Which you most definitely are), and less concerned with the meat of your entries.
STYLE 6/10
Again, the "textbook" approach comes into play. If you're hoping to attract readers, don't give them a dissertation. Reading your diary should be a refreshing break from all the other straight-laced things that people are forced to read at work and school. Try writing your entries as though you were speaking to a person you know fairly well. Most people can relate to a person who writes on an intimate--sometimes conversational--level, and they'll be willing to come back for more.
DESIGN 7/10
I'm not a design whore, per se, but I do like to see neatly organized diaries. You didn't clutter up your space with a horrendous amount of blinkies and rings, but I was a bit dismayed by the seemingly random photographs that dotted your entries. If you're going to include so many pictures, provide captions or descriptions. Ask yourself if inserting a photo is even going to add to the depth of your entries. Does it mean anything to my readers? Can they live without it? If so, scrap it. Most people are more interested in content, anyway.
NAVIGATION 5/5
Clean, neat, and concise. Good, old Diaryland templates.
FREQUENCY 4/5
You've been good about writing nearly everday, which says something about your character. Good job.